LATEST UPDATES

UPDATED EDIT 14/10/2024 at 9pm

Well today booked up and panned out nicely. The rest of the week is looking like this at present. We are available tomorrow morning and afternoon, Wednesday morning, Thursday afternoon and evening, and anytime on Friday. Saturday morning's client has just cancelled so we can do Sat AM too.

NEWSLETTER. The latest newsletter went out to subscribers last week. I've copied the main body of text below and I'll leave it up on the site for a week or so. Let us know (with your email address) if you want to receive it direct to your email when it next comes out. I say "newsletter", but it's often as much of a blog as it is news. We aim to send something out every 2-3 months, but the precise timing and amount of content varies throughout the year.

~~~~~~~~~~~

SEPTEMBER NEWSLETTER...

SEX, EROTICISM AND AGEING

Over the last few years, I’ve been observing how people age. Maybe it’s because Val and I are heading towards that transition when “middle age” becomes “old age”. It’s also because we seem to know quite a few people who are older than us, and we also have to give practical support to our very elderly parents.

At what age do you become old? Val and I both have different answers to this, but we both agree it’s not a fixed number, and varies from person to person. How is it that some people never make it to retirement, whilst other are breezing through 10K runs and pilates classes well into their seventies?

Our bodies go through changes, but not all at the same rate or in the same way. Part of getting older is being aware and coming to terms with how it affects libido, eroticism, desire and performance. Physical and hormonal changes can play tricks with our minds as we try to maintain the youth we once had, in conflict with our changing physical circumstances.

I’m noticed that some people just seem give up, and divert whatever energies that might have given to sexual matters onto other things; like doting on grandchildren, travel or retail therapy! For many of these people, it’s not an issue, but for others it definitely is an issue, and is often made worse when one partner in a relationship feels differently to the other.

Other factors that could affects us are joint pain, decreasing flexibility, back ache, cramp, heart trouble, weight gain, surgery, menopause, vaginal atrophy or dryness, hormone imbalances, illness, injury and disability. These things need not deny or exclude us from erotic experience if we just give a little thought, and time, to the changes that are necessary, and the sort of erotic life we want. We may not enjoy the exuberance of youth, but there’s still ways to enjoy arousal and know we still have a pulse.

Our services give clients the opportunity to explore eroticism and see what’s going on for them as they get older. Most people wouldn’t devote the time or attention to this if they decided to do it at home, but when they come to us they have the time to tune in to how they feel about receiving touch, what works for them and what doesn’t, what floats their boat, how aroused they get and how their bodies respond to arousing stimuli. This can help to maintain a clients sense of curiosity, of aliveness, of connection to others, and of life-affirming sexuality. Unless you’re in a really bad state, there’s no reason you have to give up on sensuality, but you may need to be realistic and make some adjustments.

 

WEBSITE UPDATES PAGE

Please remember that the Updates page on our website is just a snapshot in time. At the top, we state the date and time of the update. However, it will change as and when clients book in or cancel appointments.

The Updates page gets edited at random times when we feel like it’s worth doing so (usually once or twice a week). It does not get updated every time someone books in or cancels, or I’d be logging in all the time and a slave to the thing. Sometimes we update the page and it’s all changed within an hour!

 

SUMMER OFFERS

These offers have now ended. There was a quick flurry of enthusiasm when we announced them and several bookings were made, but interest waned as the weeks went on and we were surprised that more clients didn’t jump at the chance while it was offered.

 

INCREASING ENERGY COSTS

Providing a suitably heated cabin in the winter months is one of our biggest costs… if not the biggest. That, and the endless amount of time the washing machine and tumble dryer are on for. Whilst we have no plans to increase our prices, we may have to look at how we timetable our working day, so as to avoid long gaps between clients when the room could lose too much heat in-between, or cost too much to maintain the temperature without anyone actually inside. This might involve scheduling clients in a way that we can avoid a situation where we only have one client booked in on any particular day for, say, an hours massage, but we need to put the heating on two hours beforehand (so for a total of three hours) just for one appointment.

It's hard for me not to get on my political soapbox. It’s not so much the energy retailers but the wholesalers. When I see the likes of Shell and BP making eye-wateringly high profits then I fume at the price increases for the consumer.

 

YOUR (CORRECT) CONTACT DETAILS

If you are a new client contacting us for the first time via the website enquiry form (on the Contact page) please ensure you fill in your email address correctly. There have been instances when we couldn’t reply to people because they typed their email address incorrectly.

 

MANAGING EXPECTATIONS

We usually reply to customer enquiries pretty darn quickly, but occasionally we can’t or it’s inconvenient to do so. There are dozens of reasons why we might not be in a position to reply straight away, but we’ll get back to you as soon as we can (usually within a few hours). Most clients understand this, but now and then we get someone who’s a bit impatient or bolshy because we didn’t reply with the ten minutes they expected (maybe we were doing… err… a massage!).

 

LIMITED LATE AFTERNOON/TEATIME APPOINTMENTS.

There are several reasons why we don’t really like taking bookings for between 4pm and 6pm. These hours tend to be popular with a certain client type that we’d rather not have and we are not accepting any more bookings from new clients during these two hours. I’m not going to spell out all the reasons why (although I’m tempted to), but I will mention one reason in particular, because it fits in with recurring themes that have been present for years, and which we’ve mentioned in the past. Clients who book for these times usually come straight from work… during that period between leaving work and arriving home after bullshitting to their partner about the overtime they’re supposedly doing or the traffic jam they’re supposedly stuck in. The problem is, they almost invariably present with body odour. To make matters worse, it is quite simply staggering how many males are oblivious to it or think that because they work in an office that they don’t sweat and their crotch smells of lavender. Newsflash… it aint so, and the same for your pits. If you’re going to turn up for a naked massage then please get a shower first. Not just with us, with anyone.

Now we have a few (and it is only a few) clients to whom this doesn’t apply. They come at these times but DO get showered first. So if you’re accustomed to coming at this time and have been a regular for a while then please don’t think we’re talking about you.

 

WHEN’S BEST TO BOOK?

The way things have evolved recently means that it is common for us to look at the week ahead on a Sunday evening, and there are only a few bookings. So the diary looks pretty bare. But by Tuesday evening all that has changed, and suddenly clients who are asking about Wednesday, Thursday and Friday find that others have got there before them. So it pays to plan ahead and book the weekend before the week you want to come.

 

FOUR-HANDED MASSAGE.

This is when Val and I (Brian) both massage you at the same time. We don’t openly advertise this service on the website as we normally like to get to know a bit about clients who want to experience beforehand. It comes with an added premium to regular prices and is available for both Swedish and tantric massage. Feel free to enquire but also please tell us a bit about yourself and your reasons for wanting four-handed massage.

 

GAY, BISEXUAL AND BI-CURIOUS CLIENTS.

Some of our clients come from the LGB community, although we have only had one “T” in all these (13) years.

Bri can be booked by clients in these categories, although assumptions should not be made about Bri’s sexuality.

For sensual massage, Val will only see male clients (of whatever sexuality). But she’ll gladly provide conventional massage to female clients.

Females who are “L” or “B” cannot book sensual forms of massage on a 1-2-1 with Val, although Val is sometimes prepared to accompany me (Bri) in providing four-handed massage for females who (for whatever reason) want a female present.

 

MOBILE MASSAGE.

If you like the idea of being massaged in your own home, either as an individual, a couple, or as part of a mates night in, then please feel free to enquire about prices and availability.

This is something we used to do in the early days. Clients/client’s friends would book us on a Friday or Saturday evening and we’d go round and provide massage for anyone who wanted it in a spare room. However, there were often problems with access and not having enough spare space to operate in. It was also extremely tiring. Eventually, we had enough going on during the week and we didn’t have the same energy or drive to do callouts at the weekend. This still holds true for Val. She has enough going on and it takes it’s toll on her back. But I’ve decided to revive the idea (ie, solo) and see how it goes.

Enquiries can be made on your understanding of the following bullet points:

• Quotes will be given on an enquiry-by-enquiry basis, and will reflect number of people, type of massage, total time, distance to travel.
• Areas covered include Merseyside, Cheshire, Flintshire, South Lancs, Wirral.
• There must be convenient parking and easy access to your property.
• No last minute bookings. Preferably a week’s notice.
• For one to four people. No more than four.
• Couples/groups can be mixed or single sex, but all participants must be 18 or over.
• A deposit of half the agreed price must be paid by Paypal in advance. The remaining half to be paid in cash on arrival.
• Home visits only. No hotels.
• If you are a male enquiring about couples massage then I will almost certainly ask to speak in person, on the phone, to your partner to confirm the genuineness of the enquiry.

 

SUFFER FROM SAD?

The Autumn can provide a wonderful display of nature as the trees change colour, birds migrate or get active as they gorge on berries and insects. Preparing for winter. A sunny afternoon walk in October can be glorious.

On the other hand, it could be pissing down and it’s dark much earlier. I love pottering around on summer evenings…. usually in the garden, or strolling on Runcorn heath. The dark evenings put an end to all that and it’s forgivable to feel imprisoned inside your own home from 6pm to bedtime. It doesn’t bother some folks, but for others it can feel depressing (seasonal affective disorder).

Our massage room takes on a different ambience in the evening. Why not treat yourself to an evening appointment and cheer yourself up from any gloom that may be creeping upon you.

 

H&E MAGAZINE

The only adverts we run are in H&E, the naturist Health and Efficiency magazine. We estimate that roughly half of our clients find us via this advert. The other half via a Google search or word of mouth.

H&E provides insight and discussion on all things related to naturism, and unofficially sort of doubles up as a naturist travel guide too, with lots of adverts for naturist holidays and frequent reviews and write-ups by readers.

 

DATES TO NOTE.

There are several dates in October when we are not available for one reason or another. You may wish to hang on to this newsletter to refer to if you are planning to come in October.

We are unavailable on the 8th, 9th, 10th, 12th, 13th, 20th and 27th.

 

COUPLES MASSAGE.

Please check with your partner that they are genuinely interested in coming for massage BEFORE you contact us with your enquiry. We suspect that many don’t, and it don’t ‘arf waste a lot of time answering the enquiries of wishful thinkers and male fantasists.

 

THE EXAMPLE OF CATS AND DOGS

If you’re the loving owner of a cat or dog, you’ll know how much they appreciate physical contact with you, often approaching for a stroke or to cuddle up to you. Our cat loves loads of fuss, and if we quit stroking him before he’s had his fill, he’ll nuzzle into our hand or arm for more. I suppose, to a cat or dog, the strokes and cuddles we give them must feel like a massage. But other things are happening too. It creates and reinforces the bond we have with them. It communicates love, trust and security. And it feels so damn good… just look at your pet’s face as they suck up the physical attention.

It's like that for us too. During touch that’s well-meant and nurturing, feel-good hormones are released. Dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin produce feelings of happiness, pleasure, stress relief, and there are reports that it could help with blood pressure, sleep and digestion. Some clients report feeling valued, soothed and their self-esteem boosted.

Our touch receptors near the skin surface are not all the same. They have varying functions for sensing heat, cold, pressure, movement, vibrations, pain, pleasure, stretch and harm.

If you feel disconnected from other people, if you feel touch-deprived, if you’ve had bad experiences in the past when touch was given inappropriately without your consent and you want to experience and learn about healthy consenting touch, if you need to take the time-out that’s needed to think about and ask for how you want to be touched by another person, then tantric massage could be for you.

 

DISABILTY AND MASSAGE

I once provided massage for a blind lady. It was during a charity event in Halton hospital. She was escorted into the room by a friend and then left with me for the duration of the massage (I think it was just a twenty minute back massage). She relied on me to help her onto the massage table. It has since occurred to me many times over, that of all the clients we’ve seen since 2011, you could probably count the times we’ve done massage for a disabled person on one hand. Why should they miss out? Disabled people often state they want the same rights, privileges and access to services as everyone else, and yet we can go months… years even, between requests from people who are disabled. We will give proper consideration to requests made by disabled people, bearing in mind their condition, ability to access our massage room, ability to consent, type of massage being asked for, individual needs/requests and all the usual stuff about hygiene and ability to receive massage safely.

 

OUR ADDRESS

Amazing how many people contact us using the website enquiry form on the “Contact” page, and then go on to ask what our address is. It’s on the Contact page you used to message us, lol. You had to scroll past it to get to the form.

(end of newsletter)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WHEN'S BEST TO BOOK? The way things have evolved recently means that it is common for us to look at the week ahead on a Sunday evening, and there are only a few bookings. So the diary looks pretty bare. But by Tuesday evening all that has changed, and suddenly clients who are asking about Wednesday, Thursday and Friday find that others have got there before them. So it pays to plan ahead and book the weekend before the week you want to come.

 

NEW GALLERY WEBSITE PAGE. We've added a new page with some photos. Some have been shown previously and some are more recent and show the massage room after we spruced it up in the Spring of this year. It is a big ask for a client to agree to be photographed for our publicity purposes, and we are grateful to those who were up for it. CLICK HERE to see the page.

 

WHAT THREE WORDS. If you are new to us and use what3words to navigate then we are at feed.ideas.strong 

ADULT FORUMS. It seems these are becoming a real problem for massage therapists, as a growing number of childish men with the intellect of a walnut are browsing these sites and joining in the discussions about massage therapists. We know of one massage therapist who has virtually given up altogether because she's so disillusioned by the manner in which she is discussed online, and the other day we had another female therapists phone us up for advice and moral support as she's sick to death of it too. 

I'm going to throw this reminder out there to anyone who goes on these sites.... we have been known to ban clients who we've caught gossiping about us on adult chat forums. Especially if you've been unkind or presented a false account. You may think you're anonymous with your false names, but we can work it out! We do our best to provide a fantastic and genuine experience, and we dont need gossiping about afterwards.